Yesterday when I got back from office, I had headache. I was feeling feverish and had to lie down immediately. That night I was not at all in the condition to think clearly. I preyed to God multiple times. But I did not ask God to cure me. All I asked him was to help me with the hideous job that I was doing.
The next morning my fever was gone. I still had a little bit of headache but I was better than yesterday. I sent sick leave email to the office. And I had whole day to take care of myself. All I could think about was how this new job had affected my life. I certainly got monitory hike. But other than that I lost almost every small thing that made me happy. I had so much creative freedom in my past organization. I used to set meetings with people and take care of my calendar. I used to take up new challenges as opportunities. I used to mentor people. I used to learn so much that my manager was also happy with my performance. And as far as work is concerned, I excelled at it. That office was much more far away from my current office. But I was the one who used to decide my timings there. I was never micro-managed by anyone. So even the travelling hours were not that bad!
Every night I used to think about how well my day went and every morning I used to look forward to going to that office and having another great day!
There comes a time in everyone's life when you realize that money is not everything. If you do not have mental peace, what good can money do to you? If you are tensed every night before going to that shitty office the next day, is it worth it? If you have to push yourselves to go to the office every morning just because you are afraid of what your own family members would say if you don't go there, then what this money is useful for? Fortunately for me, I have realized it much sooner than other people. And that's exactly what provoked me into sending a message to my previous manager. I told her that I miss the old office. As of now, I am still waiting for a reply from her. How will she react? What will she think of me for getting back to her just after one month of joining new firm? Will I be able to gather the courage of telling her to get me back? And if that means that I may get paid less than what I do now, will my family be able to handle it?
God help me. Because I don't know answers to these questions. All I know is that I can't keep pushing myself into working at my current office for much longer. Its time to say it out loud that I hate my job and I should be the one to do something about it if I want to keep myself from losing my sanity.
The next morning my fever was gone. I still had a little bit of headache but I was better than yesterday. I sent sick leave email to the office. And I had whole day to take care of myself. All I could think about was how this new job had affected my life. I certainly got monitory hike. But other than that I lost almost every small thing that made me happy. I had so much creative freedom in my past organization. I used to set meetings with people and take care of my calendar. I used to take up new challenges as opportunities. I used to mentor people. I used to learn so much that my manager was also happy with my performance. And as far as work is concerned, I excelled at it. That office was much more far away from my current office. But I was the one who used to decide my timings there. I was never micro-managed by anyone. So even the travelling hours were not that bad!
Every night I used to think about how well my day went and every morning I used to look forward to going to that office and having another great day!
There comes a time in everyone's life when you realize that money is not everything. If you do not have mental peace, what good can money do to you? If you are tensed every night before going to that shitty office the next day, is it worth it? If you have to push yourselves to go to the office every morning just because you are afraid of what your own family members would say if you don't go there, then what this money is useful for? Fortunately for me, I have realized it much sooner than other people. And that's exactly what provoked me into sending a message to my previous manager. I told her that I miss the old office. As of now, I am still waiting for a reply from her. How will she react? What will she think of me for getting back to her just after one month of joining new firm? Will I be able to gather the courage of telling her to get me back? And if that means that I may get paid less than what I do now, will my family be able to handle it?
God help me. Because I don't know answers to these questions. All I know is that I can't keep pushing myself into working at my current office for much longer. Its time to say it out loud that I hate my job and I should be the one to do something about it if I want to keep myself from losing my sanity.
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