Returning to office after a break

It was a Thursday morning. The alarm went of at 7 o'clock. I was way too comfortable to get out of the bed so I decided to sleep for a few more minutes. But when I finally managed to get up I was freaked out to see it was 8:50! But I calmed down immediately thinking to myself that I anyway doesn't have too much work at the office so I can relax and be there at office when I get ready. I brushed my teeth thinking about the pleasure that I had last night when I was able to sleep in a calm, quiet way. Although I had a little bit of guilt for over sleeping, I decided not to be too hard on myself. After having my morning tea and reading newspaper, I replaced the old soap with a new one in the bathroom and took a nice, long bath. I got ready for the office but my breakfast was still not ready. So I trimmed my nails, changed the sheets on my bed, prayed to the god with the morning rituals and then finally had breakfast. I then drove to the office at a very slow speed and finally reached there at 11. After having tea with my friends, I checked my emails and saw a message from my manager who had assigned me some work on an old feature. I worked till 1 and then went to have lunch. I tried to avoid my manager but couldn't hide from him for long. My manager asked me about the leaves and I managed to give him some made up answer with a plastic smile. While talking to my friends, I realized that the reason I did not feel guilty for being late to the office or for getting up late was because I was not looking forward to my work at the office. I had took a 3-day planned leave before resuming office on Thursday. I had told my manager that I was going to attend a meditation session at Lonavala. In reality, I was in Pune itself. I did not had anything special planned. I just wanted to get out of my routine. And after I had this realization, it was really really difficult for me to be there at the office. I somehow tried to work. I consoled myself that it was just 2 days till the weekend and decided to not think too much and somehow get through the day in any way I could.

I took a sick leave

Yesterday when I got back from office, I had headache. I was feeling feverish and had to lie down immediately. That night I was not at all in the condition to think clearly. I preyed to God multiple times. But I did not ask God to cure me. All I asked him was to help me with the hideous job that I was doing.

The next morning my fever was gone. I still had a little bit of headache but I was better than yesterday. I sent sick leave email to the office. And I had whole day to take care of myself. All I could think about was how this new job had affected my life. I certainly got monitory hike. But other than that I lost almost every small thing that made me happy. I had so much creative freedom in my past organization. I used to set meetings with people and take care of my calendar. I used to take up new challenges as opportunities. I used to mentor people. I used to learn so much that my manager was also happy with my performance. And as far as work is concerned, I excelled at it. That office was much more far away from my current office. But I was the one who used to decide my timings there. I was never micro-managed by anyone. So even the travelling hours were not that bad!
Every night I used to think about how well my day went and every morning I used to look forward to going to that office and having another great day!

There comes a time in everyone's life when you realize that money is not everything. If you do not have mental peace, what good can money do to you? If you are tensed every night before going to that shitty office the next day, is it worth it? If you have to push yourselves to go to the office every morning just because you are afraid of what your own family members would say if you don't go there, then what this money is useful for? Fortunately for me, I have realized it much sooner than other people. And that's exactly what provoked me into sending a message to my previous manager. I told her that I miss the old office. As of now, I am still waiting for a reply from her. How will she react? What will she think of me for getting back to her just after one month of joining new firm? Will I be able to gather the courage of telling her to get me back? And if that means that I may get paid less than what I do now, will my family be able to handle it?

God help me. Because I don't know answers to these questions. All I know is that I can't keep pushing myself into working at my current office for much longer. Its time to say it out loud that I hate my job and I should be the one to do something about it if I want to keep myself from losing my sanity.

Get me out of this office!

Today morning, I literally dragged myself to the office. I was feeling sick to the stomach. I had absolutely no motivation whatsoever to get ready, drive and be there.

Still, I am in my office. Unfortunately, life doesn't always give you chances to choose your own options. When you are in your twenties and your parents are expecting from you somethings, you cannot just quit.

But I cannot help but think about all the questions that I keep on asking myself:
Are there any options for me out there which would pay me but not make me feel miserable?
Or do I just need to change my job?
Will changing my job make any real difference?

Jobs is a strange thing mankind has developed for himself. We get paid for our time and our hard work. But is it really a good system? Even farmers have donkeys which they use for carrying goods and in return take care of those. Have we made up our minds to be like donkeys? Are we really satisfied with this trade? Or maybe it is just one of the factors associated with a job. Maybe when your job also gives you creative freedom and flexibility then you do not feel so bad about the job.

So what is it about the jobs that actually makes you unmotivated? What can you do about changing the situation? If you know the answers to these questions, please let me know...

Why do I feel that I don't want to do a job?

Have you ever been in a situation over the entire course of your career where you feel like you are stuck at your job?
Well, the good news for you is that many people feel the same way. And the bad news? You are still doing the same goddamn job!

While there can be tons of factors that can make you feel like quitting your job, here are some of the major ones that you may be able to identify yourself with...

1. Horrible Bosses

Lets face it! Your immediate supervisors, your tech leads or your mentors...some of them is definitely the reason why you drill a hole in your brain by continuously asking yourself...why am I working here?

2. Lack of predefined processes

Have you ever joined a company where no-one is there to help you get on-boarded? There is no "buddy" assigned to you? No-one from the Human Resources knows whom should you approach in case of doubts?

It is easy to feel disoriented or lost in such an atmosphere and life can get really difficult in such situations.

3. No work-life balance

The company pays you for the time you put in. Its supposed to be a fair deal, right? Sadly, this is not the case always...There are companies which keep a close eye on you by their screen activity trackers and their CC TV cameras and their electronic time monitoring doors. These companies(and the people there) are not ashamed of asking you to put in more hours than what you are supposed to and that too on a pretty regular basis.

4. Distance

Do you travel for more than 10 kilometers to the office? Do you find yourself tired as shit when you reach home because of travelling between your home and office? Is there huge amount of traffic on the route you take to work? Unfortunately, you are stuck in a problem which can be overwhelming at times!

5. Hard work

Some times the work that is required to be done is way too hard. I mean seriously...what does the company expect from you?

6. Not getting a promotion!

You might be stuck in a job where you are working too hard from such a long time but you are not getting that "big" promotion that you think you deserve. If this is the case with you, this might be the reason why you feel that you should not be doing this job.

In the upcoming days, I will be writing about more such issues. I will also be coming up with ideas which you can use to solve the problems that you face at work.

Do you like what you read? Wear you able to identify yourself with any of the reasons above? Feel free to let me know! Also, add your comments below to suggest more topics that you would like to read about. Stay tuned...